1. |
Summer Transfer Window
01:06
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Players come and players go
In the summer transfer window
Clubs making deals before it is closed
In the summer transfer window
Prices high, they're never low
In the summer transfer window
Where will it end, nobody knows
In the summer transfer window
Everybody goes a bit nuts
As the window starts to shut
Managers sign any old fool
Who can seemingly kick a ball
Sky Sports go into overdrive
Breaking News: Gareth Bales still alive
Only one guy takes a break
Arsene Wenger puts his feet up and his cheque book away
Players come and players go
In the summer transfer window
Clubs making deals before it is closed
In the summer transfer window
Prices high, they're ever low
In the summer transfer window
Where will it end, nobody knows
In the summer transfer window
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2. |
Stoke Bus
01:17
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Let's get on the Stoke bus
Its free for all Stoke fans
Every away game this season
Leave your cars and vans
And get on the Stoke bus
The bus is like Stoke's football
The journeys they are long
And the seats are uncomfortable
But get on the Stoke bus
You'll never be alone
You can spend the journey betting
On the game like Camerone Jerome
And get on the Stoke bus
Whether they win or lose
Probably more the latter
Now Stoke have got Mark Hughes
But get on the Stoke bus
It's free that is the truth!
Although at the end of the journey
You have to look at Robert Huth
Let's get on the Stoke bus
There's space for you no doubt
There's space for everyone
Unless you're as big as Peter Crouch
We're all on the Stoke bus
It's free so don't you frown
I wonder if it will still be free
Next season when we go down?
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3. |
Silly Season
01:16
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Now the season's over, everyone is bored
So we need some transfer rumours more and more
Who is moving club and who is going where
Which footballer's wife has gone and changed her hair
Well first there is Chelsea, they've got lots of money
And now they've got Jose, will he say something funny?
Lampard and John Terry will be pleased to see him
It means they then can play for one more season
Manchester United, they've got David Moyes
He wants to spend money on some brand new toys
Maybe Fabregas, he could be a steal
Moyes thinks the midfielder has got Cesc appeal
Then there is Man City where there is never enough
Even though they've bought someone called Jesus
Arsenal have finally brought in someone good
Wenger's wiped the cobwebs off the old chequebook
And then there's Gareth Bale, aka Tottenham Hotspurs
Real Madrid are desperate to make him one of theirs
If he goes the price tag, it will be obscene
And Spurs will have to withdraw from the Premier League
Lots and lots of transfers, more and more each week
Sometimes it is hard to keep up with each
And there is one rumour I can now repeal
I will never leave The Football Special
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4. |
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5. |
Neymar
01:54
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Once there was this kid from Brazil
He had an abundance of skills
But the world said you should stay still
You're in a league that's run of the mill
He was blessed with pace and flair
He played like he just didn't care
Defenders never had a prayer
And every week he changed his hair
Each game Santos supporters sang songs
But very soon they knew he'd be gone
Neymar in Europe you belong
They'd say but wished that they were wrong
His summer was full of celebrations
He lit up the Confederations
Now he's famous in every nation
Neymar, you're a star in the making
But the question surrounds Neymar
Is he going to be a star?
The boy from Brazil has come so far
But the next step it will be hard
Leaving home to follow your heart
Are we keen for you to be the best Neymar
Yes we are
Oh Neymar
He gave every Santos fan a boner
Every time he did a rabona
But he had some chats with the owner
Now he's going to Barcelona
And he's in for a real test, a
Team with Messi and Iniesta
Chance to prove he's not just a jester
If he works hard, time for fiesta
But the question surrounds Neymar
Is he going to be a star?
The boy from Brazil has come so far
But the next step it will be hard
Leaving home to follow your heart
Are we keen for you to be the best Neymar
Yes we are
Oh Neymar
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6. |
Forties (Kevin Phillips)
01:16
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Gimme one more year to prove myself
Im gonna play into my forties
Im gonna keep on scoring for Palace
Just like its still the noughties
Many said that I couldn't do it
So now I'm feeling haughty
So gimme one more year to prove myself
Im gonna play into my forties
I may not have much of my legs left
But I can still play every game
As long as there is space on the bench for my blanket and zimmer frame
I need to be looked after
So I can keep on hanging around
But I can't play evening games
Because that clashes with Countdown
Gimme one more year to prove myself
Im gonna play into my forties
Im gonna keep on scoring for Palace
Just like its still the noughties
It don't matter how old you are
As long as you're feeling sporty
So gimme one more year to prove myself
Im gonna play into my forties
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7. |
Shahid Khan's Tash
01:32
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Have you seen the new guy at fulham
have you seen whats on his face?
it looks like the man from Pringles
has taken over the place
Shahid khan is his name and he
owns the jacksonville jaguars too
that's american football for
tashless folks like me and you
but we should all wear tashes to fulham
(all wear tastes to fulham)
every single game
(every single game)
all wear tastes to fulham
give them to the players when they play
cos we should all wear tashes to fulham
(all wear tastes to fulham)
that could be their nickname
(could be their nickname)
lets watch the tastes at fulham
things will never be the same
Let's get a bit of fluff on Damien Duff
A handlebar on Dimitar
A goatee on Derek Boateng
Wait, is that going too far?
Nah, cos Fulham could reclaim facial hair
And really make it their own
Stick a tash on the Michael Jackson statue
It's Bad but so what, shamone!
and we should all wear tashes to fulham
(all wear tastes to fulham)
every single game
(every single game)
all wear tastes to fulham
give them to the players when they play
cos we should all wear tashes to fulham
(all wear tastes to fulham)
that could be their nickname
(could be their nickname)
lets watch the tastes at fulham
things will never be the same
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8. |
Bigger Than Football
01:30
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Some results are good
Some results are bad
Some results make fans happy, angry or sad
Some games are great
Some games are shite
Some games make you revaluate your life
Some days are fun
Some days a chore
Some days your team can play forever and not score
Sometimes you cheer
Sometimes you curse
Sometimes you realise it could be much worse
But someday it will be clear to us all
That life is much bigger, bigger than football
We all want our team to win all the time
But not at the expense of losing your life
So Tito and James Alexander Gordon
We will forever be cheering you on
And know that you have support from us all
That life is much bigger, bigger than football
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9. |
Jose Mourinho
01:14
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I always thought that he'd come back
to the place where he is still loved
when he was first at chelsea
he claimed that he had come from above
and they won so many trophies
so everything was alright
but now he's back something's different
mourinho is now fucking nice
back in the good old days
you knew where you were with jose
he'd claim he's bigger than jesus
every single day
but now he's back he's not the same
he's more mellow i guess now that he's is old
he's being friendly and happy
to be honest it is really dull
so come on jose don't do this
don't be a let down now that you're back
say something funny or arrogant
or else you might as well get the sack
the only reason you're here is
because youre in the entertainment business
if you're going to be boring
id rather have rafa benitez
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10. |
Pep Guardiola
01:13
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He was one of the best managers of all
He won titles playing sexy football
His Barcelona team it did rule
He made the cardigan suit combo cool
His name was Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Now he's got a new start at Bayern
Winning everything he'll be tryin'
Life in Germany he has chosen
Swapped his cardigan for leiderhosen
Now he's living in a new area
A Spaniard making a start in Bavaria
But he will stay focused and calm
Hanging out with Robben and Philipp Lahm
His name was Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
Guardiola, Pep Guardiola
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11. |
Hull City Tigers
02:14
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It's a new season and a new dawn for Hull because they've changed their name
They're now Hull City Tigers and things are never going to be the same
What about the other teams in the premier league?
What could we rename them to make their names a bit more sexy?
arsenal that is boring they can be north london guns
aston villa's so vanilla, how about Claret Villains anyone?
cardiff have done our job for us, they're now the red dragons
for chelsea it is simple they will be the special ones
Crystal Palace sounds like a night club they can be South London Eagles
Everton can be Merseyside Blues - that sounds a bit more regal
Fulham thanks to Shahid Khan will be the Riverside Tashes
Hull we've covered so to Liverpool - The Liverbirds, rising from the ashes
Man City are so rich the should be the Sky Blue Aristocrats
Across the city to United, they're the Red Fergies, and that's that
At Newcastle everyones French, lets call them les Rostbif
Norwich's biggest fan is Stephen Fry they can be the Yellow Tweets
Southampton are already called the Saints we'll let them be
Stoke are called the Potters, let's add to that the prefix Harry
Sunderland are Black Cats but that makes me feel superstitious
Swansea like to be the Swans, but Killer Swans, that sounds much more vicous
Spurs are Spurs thats fine, and West Brom will be Brom Jovi
That leaves West Ham that's simple, they will be the Iron Cockneys!
Now they've all got American names Hull wont feel so stupid
Well except when they're relegated and back in the Championship
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12. |
Sexuality In Football
01:35
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They say that football is for everyone
It doesn't matter what you look like, where you're from
The game has come so far its true
And now it's time to eradicate one last taboo
Everybody has the right to be who they want to be
The ball doesn't care about your sexuality
Some footballers are gay
some supporters are gay
some referees are gay
some linesman
some chairman are gay
and nothings gonna change
nothings gonna change
No nothings gonna change
So lets just focus on the game
Your team is part of your identity
Some peoples teams are shit some are in the Champions League
But thats your right you have to choose
And choosing who to be with should never bring abuse
It's time to grow up, come on it is 2013
whether you're gay or straight we're all on the same team
some footballers are gay
some supporters are gay
some agents are gay
some directors of football are gay
and it doesn't really matter
doesn't matter at all
doesn't matter who you love
because we all love football
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13. |
Ashley Young
01:00
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Give Ashley Young a protective helmet
Give Ashley Young the help he needs
Give Ashley Young a wheelchair cos has problems staying on his feet
Give Ashley Young a five game ban
Give Ashley Young what he deserves
Give Ashley Young a fine, we mean it this time, and stick him in the reserves
He is a brilliant diver
He's better than Tom Daley
Get him in the olympic diving team for Rio 2016
He swan dives every game
It's like he's putting on a show
If there were judges in the crowd they'd give him 9.9 and 10.0
Give Ashley Young a protective helmet
Give Ashley Young the help he needs
I'm not saying Ashley Young's a massive cheat but Ashley Young's a massive cheat
Let's kick Ashley Young out of football
We don't want cheaters to prevail
And that goes to anyone who likes to dive, I'm looking at you Gareth Bale
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14. |
Good Bye TFS
02:38
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We want to thank, thank you all
for watching The Football Special
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Jim Daly London, UK
Since January, Jim Daly has been writing and performing songs for The Football Special. His songs have become cult listening and an integral part of this emerging and award nominated show.
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